It's Octo-boober Month!

Sorry to interrupt this regularly scheduled blog journey with a quick October post. I know you're patiently waiting for more of my story. I promise it's coming. I have a few excuses: a toddler, a full time job, 2 dogs, a husband who works crazy shifts, chronic post-chemo headaches, and the constant chasing of my own health. By the time a can sit down at night, I have found that blogging has fallen lower on my priority list. Don't give up on me–it's always in the works! I'm kind of jealous of those who can just sit, type, and hit POST! I stare at my own writing for a month. But today I'm feeling impulsive...so hear it goes:

Many of you know that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It has taken me a few days to let it sink in, if I'm honest. While I stand so firm for advocacy and awareness, I absolutely HATE that the stats are high enough to devote a month to this disease. Cancer is so deeply layered. It comes, and for most of us, it NEVER leaves. Let me clarify--the cancer may be gone, but life never fully returns to what it was prior to a diagnosis. Breast cancer, specifically, is so physically, emotionally, and spiritually invasive. There are NO days that follow the "treatment" period where a person feels free of it all.

October used to be a month where all I thought about was how to make the most unique and creative costumes without buying some skanky, overpriced swag from the Spirit store. One year we were Travelocity.com; I was a globe and Ryan was the gnome. Another year we were Struck by Lightning; Ryan was the lightning bolt and I looked like I had just been electrocuted. We've dressed up the dogs as White Claws. One year we were characters from Bambi, where I painted our orange dog with white spots down her back. In more recent years we dressed up as a group with our best friends; Wayne's World, Tiger King, and Mad Max. We won best group costume in our Mad Max attire. That was pretty badass! I'll never forget winning that gift card to Perkins, where we immediately went after the party to stuff our faces with eggs, pancakes, and french toast (smothered in whipped cream, butter and strawberries). Just a late night dose of carefree with a side of poison...ok. ok. Enough reminiscing! Pics for fun:

I love the idea of costumes for Halloween. It's the one time of the year where it's acceptable to be whatever you want, out in public. But it's harder for me to find the motivation to plan all of this now. There's a leftover heaviness after a Breast Cancer diagnosis, with so many permanent changes that a female undergoes during treatment. It makes it that much harder to imagine being anything else but a fighter, a thriver, and chaser of healing. It's as though the whole treatment process created such a transformation that it's hard to have fun playing "dress-up" again. What was once the one-time-a-year costume becomes a lifetime of change. The costumes shift to PINK attire for breast cancer awareness events. Don't get me wrong--I love pink! But I also need zero excuses to buy more of it! The decision fatigue also lingers...it impacts things that I used to have space for- like Halloween costume planning.

I realize this leaves you with questions because I have yet to dive into much of my personal treatment plan within this platform. And I know that some of you are unsure of my current health status, which is fair. PLUS, SAME! Because I'm over here taking things one day at a time in a slightly unconventional way. And when I'm asked how I'm doing, I might beat around the bush...because the reality is that I do feel great! I felt great when I had active cancer growing in my left boob and lymph nodes, too! So I'm just focusing on being here...and doing whatever I believe is best, while continuing to listen to my God-given, still, small voice. Because being a fighter, thriver, and healer are all wrapped up into my new identity.

I guess I'd just like to sum it up in this way: October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. I pray to God that you never have to experience cancer, but the reality is that 1 in 2 people will be directly impacted by some form of cancer in their lifetime. 1 in 8 women are currently directly impacted by breast cancer. Prioritize your health NOW. And I mean this in more ways than just going to the gym and eating kind of healthy. I mean this in the deep and layered way that IS cancer. If we don't stay ahead of it, we become a part of these terrible statistics. Pay attention to your family history. Demand the genetic testing to understand your risks. Eliminate your toxic burdens. Control your stress. And for God's sake, do your self-breast exams. I promise you that these changes and steps will impact your life, and you can continue to enjoy October as the spooky month, with all the energy and headspace to plan a costume that wins the night!